Train your Heart to Seek God

I chanced upon a Nasheed I used to binge listen to in the early days of me starting my Quran journey. I looked at the date and it said 11 years ago.

Subhan Allah:’)

I’m not worthy of the love my Rab has showered upon me. There have been years of learning. Of forgetting. Of not missing Tahajjud and of going to sleep after watching questionable content on screen.Yes questionable.

But my sweet Lord, despite all my shortcomings and wavering has covered and hidden my deep flaws from my fellow beings.

There have been times when I’ve forgotten Him. There have been times of pain & grief in which I’ve sought Him.

There have been times of deep intense longings, of duas answered and duas replaced.

Time flies. I did not realise that as much as I did when I saw 11 years ago, written there on top.

My faith, at best, is a Sin graph. But my Rab is my constant. Despite all my sins, shortcomings, unworthiness, He has loved me. Loves me.

And if I were to look back on those 11 years, one moment overshadows the YEARS. A moment deeply personal, deeply private, when I asked Him for something from the depths of my being. And He gave me something better in its place.

A feeling. An emotion. A sense of His nearness!

A microscopic insight into what Ma’arfah can be!

And that moment is my most cherished possession in these 11 years!

And I wonder if that is what a moment feels like. What will an eternity of being in His presence be like?

So train your heart to Seek God. In everything. Every grief & every joy. For everything is a means to Him.

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