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Let the Heart Speak-Madressah Life

The moment we outgrow our frocks and piggy-tails period we start talking big. Our ideas and our thoughts may be as silly-sounding as “! L!kE 2 [email protected] iN tHe [email protected]!N so nObOdY [email protected] see my [email protected]” or they may emerge as senselessly passionate rhetoric like “Why b0tHer to F!T in wHeN you [email protected] [email protected] oUt”.

Some of the things we said and believed in, will, looking back probably bring a smile on our faces now. Others might quite possibly have us clenching our jaws and doubling over in painful embarrassment.  (This is probably why cousins (and their long memories) are so annoying .heh.  And also probably why you don`t want your mum to reminiscence about your bachpana with your husband -_-

On a serious note however, this just proves that though we may not be aware of it but deep down somewhere within us, the idea that “there has GOT TO be more” is hard-wired into us:

We will show them Our signs in the horizons and within themselves until it becomes clear to them that it is the truth…41:52 Quran.

Knowingly or unknowingly, we go through life searching for meaning, trying to fill the void within us. But we end up searching in the wrong places. We try to fill that void with things that we believe will make us happy. Money, success, good grades, good looks, degrees, popularity, spouses, grand weddings, spectacular honeymoons, children, parties and selfies too:P

I sometimes think our lives are just cycles.

circle of life

Inhi sab me ham khud ko thaka dete hain. Bhool jatey hain k ham to mehman hain. Ye hamara ghar hi nai! Choti choti cheezein le kar beth jatey hain. Logo ki berukhian, apni nakamian ya logo ki mohabat aur apni kamyabian. Khushi aur Gham. Issii sab ko zindagi ka mqsad samjh lete hain

“..وَتِلْكَ الْأَيَّامُ نُدَاوِلُهَا بَيْنَ النَّاسِ … ….

 And such are the days, We alternate them between the people…Surah Aal-e-Imran:3”

If you believe in eternity then life is irrelevant and we need that comfort. To believe that THIS, HERE is all that there is, is very depressing.  To believe that the incomplete joys and pleasures that we experience here are true happiness/To believe that the love we are at times blessed with is true love/ To believe that this temporary happiness is actual contentment/ To believe that being successful in this world is our only purpose in life. To believe that THIS is what we were created for is SHEER foolishness.

Every strand of hair, every cell, every fibre of our beings screams that there has got to be more! That this is not it! That we were created for a higher purpose!

We NEED fulfillment. We NEED to fill the void within us. We search and wander aimlessly till we are even more completely lost. For what fulfillment can a dunya offer us whose very basis is delusion?

“…And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion?” (Qur’an, 57:20)”

Bliss is in knowing Him alone. Contentment is in falling in love with Him alone. There is no dream, no aspiration, no hope, no goal that can give us fulfilment other than the desire to meet Him! The desire to see Him!

Baqi SAB fani hai!   

Dunya haemain overwhelm kar deti hai. Itna onslaught hota hai sara waqt ham par k SAB KUCH jantay hoay bhi, ham bhool jatay hai. Ye insaan ki fitrat hai. Insaan ka lafz “nisian” se niqla hai yani bhoolnay wala.

And this brings us to the purpose of this article (which is more like a talk:P)

This is exactly why it is so important to sit with people who remind us of Allah swt. Who remind us of our purpose in life. Madressahs and gatherings of Zikr/Deen are like anchors in a storm. The winds may blow, and we may blow with them too but alhumdolillah for places that bring us back, that remind us and when needed, gently probe, prod and push us in the right direction.

My madressah has helped me understand many things. I know whether or not I can do Wuzu from my cat`s bowl now:P  But I have also grown to realise how much clutter and chaos is within me. My poor dad, jab bhi wo mere kamray me atay, it would be a mess! He would say “beta, your surroundings are a reflection of the state of your mind. Safai nisf iman hai aur mujhe apkay iman k baray me sakht khadshat hai.”. lol.

Unfortunately I never took his gentle reminders seriously.

And sadly that is how we go through life. Without pausing, without taking a break, like sheep and cattle in a mad race towards oblivion. And all because we never paused to step back and think. We never looked within. Never allowed the silence to over-whelm us. Never let the heart speak to us. 

We are deprived souls. We are tired, sad, and restless and it is strange how little we know ourselves! And how oblivious we are to our own needs!

And this is where madressah life comes in. It acts like a barrier against the outside world. It helps us to pause, reflect and just for a little while lets peace and serenity wash over us. Just for a little while we imburse ourselves in contentment, allowing warmth to envelope us. Feeling the infinite love Allah swt has for us and falling in love with Him. For His love is the ONLY love, the ONLY truth in this world.

“(Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.) (Qur’an 13: 28)”

Allahuma Rafeequl A`laa!

I believe I am a better person now. At least I hope/pray I am. The road to good ikhlaqiat is a long one, but at least I am now ON the road. It is possible to believe in something but still fail to live upto it.

If nothing else I know my weaknesses and that I will be questioned for my sins. If nothing else, I know not to mock my cousins now. hah.

At least now I am not going through life with my eyes closed, dumbly following society`s expectations of me. At least now I am aware of Allah swt`s presence in my life. And mostly I am grateful that I know now that I was created for another world and there I long to return.

“For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.” Leonardo Da Vinci

The writer is a Student of Suffah Centre and teaches Tafsir and Hadith Online. She can be reached here.

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